I am getting married this weekend. Any advice?

cbattlegear · 1 year

Go with the flow, don't stress over your guests, the clothes, nothing. There'll be tons of family to look after that. If people want to complain... there's the door (or way out), you don't need them there.

It's your day, have fun, enjoy it, don't worry about others. Accept that the wedding dress will be stained with red wine and that your suit is going to have at least a sleeve torn and you'll never be able to wear those shoes again. don't be afraid to tell the annoying aunt to STFU (I did at least).

Don't be afraid to point out that it's your wedding, not theirs. Add a little "when you get married/re-married, we can have it your way".

Sanguinius · 1 year

If relationship works the way it should, marriage should not change a thing.

Sanguinius · 1 year

You're in a relationship of two people being used to each other walking the path the society expects you to walk. Love has been gone for a while, and you're both guilty for losing it.

The love is gone. You have been just friends for a very long time.

Walk out, give both of you a chance to find a better match.

Edit: Oh and do not listen to people telling you you wasted 8 years or that 8 years aren't worth throwing away. Past relationships are never a waste, always only a good (or bad) experience, but we learn something from each and every one of them.

And don't forget, a loving relationships can only go both ways, as much as you give and you can take take. You give a lot, she gives little. You deserve someone to love you the way you're supposed to be loved, and she deserves someone she'll find worth loving. You two can never have that together. Never.

mybabyshotmedown · 1 year

Sorry but "breaks" are bullshit when people say they want to "think things over" but in truth just feel free to do things they'd feel bad doing in a relationship. Goes for sex, partying, name it.

gatoloco · 1 year

Christopher Walken

hxcloud99 · 1 year

biguydude · 1 year

It's a scam.

fearofthestink · 1 year

To me the behaviour seems more like asking for attention or some kind of reaction from you. Like he wants you to get angry and show some emotion over this. To show that you care. And every time he does something unacceptable, you just say nothing, clean up, and continue your daily routine. Must be really exciting for both of you.

Have you tried with "you look so cute when you're shaved" or "go brush your teeth for kisses" or ask him to take out the dishes from the dishwasher or hoover or hang the laundry.

fearofthestink · 1 year

Poop next to the toilet makes just as much sense as bathtub poop. :(

wabbitbun · 1 year

That's the "forbidden fruit" she wanted there with two end-options: she not getting any and getting mad at you, or you failing the self control and giving it to her and her later blaming it all on you.

You guys have to realize two things:

women love the forbidden thing, right here, right now. It's why the best blow job or sex you'll get from her happens hiding somehwere half-public
secondly... think it over. Is it worth the effort? Her effort, your efforts? While you could be doing something you enjoy with someone you can have fun with?
and thirdly ... never stay in any relationship for the kids. Kids notice something is wrong and it affects their life. The best thing that happened to me was my parents getting a divorce.

I think you are all just used to be with each other with the love long gone. Oh, and your therapist is a jerk.

0osimo0 · 1 year

Latin.

zakk · 1 year

I like where this is going, but only if they're hot.

OilySalmon · 1 year

Cut the wires, find a forrest, hug trees.

ShouldIPunt · 1 year

I think your self-PR sucks. Maybe ask someone to help you with that?

Snupho · 1 year

My husband gets piss drunk and whatnot on the buddies night out, gets loads of offers, never even hints towards a "possible maybe".

If you didn't have a wish for it, it wouldn't happen. Being or not being yourself, drunk or high, is all just an excuse to apologize it in your head. And it's bullshit.

You did it because you wanted to. You don't love her.

doubtalante · 1 year

That is a great advice above. Maybe you'll find out she has the same issues with your relationship and wants more of it or different things.

People forget that they shouldn't allow the relationship to stagnate and become average.

rapp039 · 1 year

The problem is that you're together all the time now which you were not before and the anticipation of finally seeing is sort of gone because you're always there.

Here's how me and my husband "manage" it, it's not planned or anything but I just sort of figured out what we do to "help" as i was reading your post:

we always sleep naked, winter, summer - if it's cold, add a blanket or two, always cuddle before sleep. If he goes to bed later, he makes sure his arms are wrapped around me when he gets to bed even if I am dead and not waking up at all.
I am a light sleeper which means I make him his neccessary morning coffee, cuddle a bit (mind you, for this you only need to get up 10 minutes earlier)
we always touch, or kiss, or "grab" every time we pass each other in the apaprtment. Very often the kisses and granbbies lead to bedroom. Grab her hand and pull her close, growl in her ear and then go do whatever you were planing on doing.
When we get home after work, we always, always kiss the way a couple should kiss.
random flowers (or rather - a flower, cheaper and just as much appreciated) - "hey, I passed the florist today and I thought i should get you this (avoid roses, use imagination guys) because you did/are (insert something completely silly - don't say the best gf ever, it sucks).
We cook together and have diner at a nice set table all the time. Cooking together, with bits of imagination, can lead to lots of fun, touching, hinting and often to a burnt chicken. (use your imagination and avoid microwave food, put some effort in it, surprise her).
Most important - over a glass (or five) of wine, ask her questions like what she likes and let her tell you. It may take time for her to open up and compose a sentence (ah ye, we do that) but be patient and wait, don't push. Allow her to take your hand and show you what part of the neck she likes to have kissed, how she likes to be touched. And then, you take your hand and show her. Don't immediately jump for the crotch grab but just little things that often are forgotten.

As silly as all of the above sounds, in the end it's little things that make her "willing". The touches, the gentle pats, the little compliments you would never come up with because you think she knows that anyway, and a random no point flower - should be success.

See, he appreciates her but doesn't show it to her, he thinks she knows because he wouldn't be with her otherwise. She however thinks that he's taking her for granted because he doesn't show her what she thinks he should be to let her know that he needs her. (probably doesn't make much sense but I tried to describe it as much as possible).

Oh, and how about randomly telling her she's gorgeous as she's brushing her teeth in the morning?

thrizowitaway · 1 year

He is putting the responsibility of what might happen on your shoulders knowing you would never tell him not to go.

wabbitbun · 1 year

For him, what about for yourself?

wabbitbun · 1 year

I actually think threesomes re to be done before you are in a serious relationship. Otherwise it all brings jealousy and anger.

Infinity_Wasted · 1 year

They'd like you if she wasn't 15.

captainregular · 1 year

Have you guys tried talking about each other's fantasies, what you like and don't like and would like to try? Without the presence of the counselor?

I talk about this with my husband regularly, a bottle (or well few more) of wine helps to relax a bit. I sort of have a what-to-do/what-to-expect list in my head for the whole month, it's based on our talk and I never know if it's going to be my day or his day but it is the whole day of wondering what's going to happen which makes me want to go feral as soon as I step through the door.

overreactor2 · 1 year

Anger is the result of guilty not cheating. So she did something she feels she shouldn't have and feels bad about. However her replies about overreacting mean that she is working on giving you a nice guilt trip for what happened.

Next step will be crying her eyes out and telling you she felt neglected, and mind you, never will she ask for forgiveness but blame it all on you and relationship. In the end, you'll feel miserable and guilty and apologize and things will seem alright until the next time she feels like holding another man.

Just to add, you behaved honorably not just losing it right there and still talking to her normally later on. Deep respect for you, you deserve much better and there is many of us around who are looking for someone like that.

HyeR · 1 year

Actually, I am lucky to live in a small coutry where we actually have local farmers doing the good old grass feeding the kettle. It's where I buy most of my food (meat, veketables, flour,...). :)

mr_mustash · 1 year

It's what I did, imemdiately after the paychek is received on ym bank account, 20% transfers to savings account.

If you don't have it, you don't miss it, you learn to get through the month without it.

wabbitbun

TROPHY CASE

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