GF just got admitted to the psych ward by her parents. No idea what to do, say, or how to respond.

notpsyched · 3 days

She probably wasn't seriously trying to kill herself, I mean if you're going to go, pills aren't exactly the best method, but she was clearly thinking about suicidal things (or at least extremely distressed). No one except for extremely tried and true addicts take a hand full of pills just to take the edge off. I don't care how in experience with drugs she is, her in experience would typically cause someone to take less (ie what the dosage says) not more. She SHOULD be in the psych ward for observation after this. Her parents may be the bad guys in a lot of ways, but this is the right response to an attempted suicide, and you shouldn't try to get in the way of that.

However, she should also be aware of her legal rights. They can only keep her under observation for a few days against her will, any treatment after that will have to be voluntary. If she is considered so far gone and dangerous that she can't make decisions on her own (which isn't likely, but still a possibility), they will most likely ask the parents what to do. However, she can ask to have you assigned as her representative (now) if she isn't functioning (later). I signed up my sister for that job when I was in the hospital because, while I love my parents, my sister understands mental health better.

Don't confront the parents, don't make life more stressful for her when she is this delicate state. Also don't blame yourself or her parents for her taking a bunch of pills, we own the decisions like that, people can encourage you to take those actions, but chances are the idea was in her head long before this fight.

When you go to visit her in the hospital, don't freak out, and follow her lead. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, give it to her, but if she really just wants to see a good face, and even joke around, don't make her confront the big ass elephant in the room. You can talk to her about that stuff when she gets out and is stable.

crashin · 3 days

I can't imagine living through the civil war on through to WWII, It seems like such a completely different era.

rydtxbnki · 3 days

Agreed, and as for being bitchy or quick to getting emotional when I'm on my period, I'm a big fan of giving people fare warning, so they can run for the hills. AND leave me the fuck alone (which is pretty much all I want when PMSing).

rydtxbnki · 3 days

Have you talked to a doctor about two weeks of cramps? I know I've had super light periods all my life so I may not have it in perspective (basically 3 days of grr PMS, 1 day of FOOOOOOD, and 1 day of cramps, then 1 day of a period, so i'm abnormal). I just would be a bit concerned if you are suffering that much for basically half the month. My sister had issues like this and the pill made her life significantly less awful. Other than the length of the period/PMS though, you pretty much hit the nail on the head about how shitty it is. And then your boyfriend says something retarded like "well can I at least get a blow job", and get pissed when you look at them like they are dead to you. Guys, if a woman is in too much pain or discomfort to have sex, she probably doesn't want to give you a blow job, just a heads up.

The worst part about my last period was that it completely snuck up on me, I haven't had one in 6 months or so (IUD with hormones), and I haven't even had pms symptoms. Then all of a sudden, I'm snapping at people, crying, and eating everything. I haven't had a period in 6 months, so I thought I was tumbling into depression (Bi-Polar), and freaked out a little bit... Next day, it was all "WTF blood?!"

Edit: Also, I totally understand the pissed offness about people belittling your legitimate feelings as PMS. I've dated multiple people who every time I got angry or emotional they'd blame it on the depression or me just being "crazy". instead of actually listening to me. It got to the point where I just never talked about how I felt and would just let shit build up inside until I would finally just explode. My last boyfriend of 3 years barely even knew what was going on in my head, because I couldn't go through another relationship where everything I said was invalid. It still got to that point though with him. One day I got pissed off, about something that was semi silly, but still all he had to do was just suck it up and apologize for being an ass, and I'd stop being mad (he was one of those people who would never say they're sorry, I was one of those people who chronically apologizes because I hate fighting and think it's a waste of time, so I'll take the blame just to make it go away. Something I've been working on of course.) It took 4 hours of me completely angrily waiting him out in silence before he would give me a half assed apology. I broke up with him 2 weeks later, if I'm dating someone who can't even swallow their pride over something that stupid, I probably don't want to date them at all.

rydtxbnki · 3 days

I turn into a hell beast when I'm on my period, the perfect man would LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE when I'm like this. Unfortunately my last boyfriend found it amusing to "poke the beast" which would in turn make me go crazy angry, and then feel horrible for being a bitch. Luckily, I'm now on the IUD with the BC drugs, haven't had a period in like 6 months and am happy as a clam. TY planned parenthood, you were my only hope.

But seriously, if a woman tells you that she is being irrationally angry and bitchy right now, and to leave her alone, guys, just leave her the fuck alone.

But yes, to sum up, for some of us ladies, it really is synonymous, at least to some extent. Of course, blowing off legitimate anger or bitching as PMS is horribly offensive and irksome. When I'm PMSing I know it, and act accordingly, it's not like I need someone to tell me that in a few hours I'll be bleeding.

rydtxbnki · 3 days

I sort of always want to reply to them with a comment along the lines of: When you whine and bitch about women not liking you, protip: this is why.

newsens · 3 days

I don't know isn't President, VP, then Speaker of the House when it comes to who gets power first after every one gets killed? I looked it up Hilary comes in 4th, though in the past 4? years we had a women in 2nd place :P. But yea, Hilary Clinton is one of my favorite women in politics.

newsens · 3 days

So you're saying that girls being beaten, tortured and raped during the Taliban is preferable to their situation right now? Because yea, a shit load of things are still messed up for women, I think we can all agree that Afghanistan did not become a beacon for women's rights in the 10 years since we invaded (hell women's rights in the US took 80 or so years, and we weren't in the middle of a war the whole time) but as a woman, if I had to chose between Taliban occupied Afghanistan and war torn Afghanistan, I would chose worn torn any day. At least there is a bit more hope than there once was. Do you honestly think us leaving Afghanistan would make people stop threatening girls who went to school? Say what you will about drone attacks and the overall failing of the US effort, but don't pretend we've made matters worse for women in Afghanistan. It makes me sick that people would want us to throw to the wolves these women, who risked their lives in the hope of building a better country for women based on our promise to protect them and help them. I'm not saying we would have to be there indefinitely, but we damn well offer some sort of protection to the women who spoke out or helped the US after the invasion.

smile0my0friends · 3 days

Thanks, I don't mind spending money if it means quality, long lasting things. I really hate to go back and buy things again or something more expensive or quality when I already spend it once. That's why I wait to buy gear until I can afford the within reason best. Until then, I'm all about the begging borrowing and stealing :).

smile0my0friends · 3 days

Define "slim fit" I'm not particularly slim, though getting slimmer, so I usually try to find baggy fit clothes that will fit me slimmly.

Unfortunately they don't make much in the way of hiking/outdoorsy or even exercise clothes for those of us who need it most... the fatties! I love hiking because it's hard, rigorous exercise, but I keep going out there because I love to bird, and I love nature. I finally excepted this past year that while my body weight may keep me from doing some things I used to do before I got sick, the only way to be able to do those things again is to get off my ass and get started (i'm not that huge, but my endurance needs to be built up more and I'm out of shape). I know that when I go into the local outdoor sporting good store some people look at me like "why the fuck is she here". t I finally have learned to not give a damn, and a lot of that is because when I get out to the woods, the only ones who see me are the birds and chipmunks and they don't give a damn either. Deer are judgmental pricks though :P.

rockonpal · 3 days

XTC wanted her first.

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

Unfortunately my Grandpa is dead as well, but he was also a gunner on a B17, perhaps they met.

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

I know when my grandpa went back to Normandy (he bombed on D-Day), it was a very emotional event for him (and we're talking poor American Irish upbringing, emotions aren't popular). Do you regret not going back or are you happy to know that you were there to help once?

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

Imediately when I read it, I thought he was just being a snarky little asshole. Thanks for reminding me that he's completely right.

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

Wasn't the Brits who actually have a way to make tea in their tanks? Cause that's fabulous.

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

I don't know I think it can be interpreted many ways, especially in a republic. To me it means this is your country, and if it's going the wrong track it's your job to help move it on the right track, either through voting, protesting, joining the military, volunteering, going into politics, or just working your ass of and raising and educating your kids. Corporations may influence politicians and elections with campaign money and bribes, but we vote them into office and it is our job to hold them responsible. Or in the words of Obama "elections have consequences".

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

Not really see: all of WWI. War is always going to be intertwined with power and greed, all you can hope for is that your side has some good intentions as well. I'm not military, but I know many who were or are, and most of them say told me if you're drafted and this is that case, that's freaking awful, but if you willingly sign up, you are signing up to follow orders, not to make foreign policy. This doesn't make them BAD people either, you can sign up and really believe that it's for a good cause, I actually can't imagine signing up if you don't think so unless you are a psychopath. Many of the people who signed up for the military after 9/11 thought (and often still think) that they were going to fight them over there so that they didn't have to do it over here. When my uncle (drafted) came home from Vietnam he face a lot of harassment from some of the anti-war groups and no one who just went to hell and back deserves to be treated like that. I still remember my mom going to see Saving Private Ryan with him and her telling me that he broke down crying during the first scene. I've never seen my uncle not being incredibly jolly.

GreyEagle8414 · 3 days

My grandpa spent most of his time in the USAF in the tail of a B-17 on it's way to bomb Berlin. He got a special pass for graduation from his principle before he should have graduated do go over when he was (I believe) 17. When the war was over, they asked him if he wanted to join the reserves and he called it a day, I think he had just seen to much at a young age. I imagine your grandpa fought in the war as well as doing humanitarian missions, does he think that doing that sort of thing helped him get over his previous actions. I'm not saying he's a bad person, just in case anyone jumps to that conclusion, but I'm sure dropping bombs and hundred even thousands of people would take it's toll on anyone's well being/mental health.

newsens · 3 days

I've always liked Hilary, she doesn't seem like someone I'd want "to have a beer with", but she doesn't take bullshit. I may not agree with her or Condoleeza Rice on everything, but they are both good strong female roll models of women in power who spent their whole life beating the shit out of the glass ceiling and shattering it in the process.

newsens · 3 days

I'm a woman, and it bugs me that people think that my vagina makes me less likely to be a power-mongering greedy idiot. I can do anything men can do, including being a douche. So there.

newsens · 3 days

He called him an "Uncle Tom" which has a long racial history. If he wasn't trying to invoke images of minority "sell outs", he should have used different language. I also don't think Obama is a sell out, he pretty much done, or tried to do, everything he said he'd do in his campaigns. People just liked to pretend that he agreed with them on every issue and didn't actually listen to him talk. Especially who talk about him promising to pull out of Afgahnistan, when he actually campaigned on sending more troops. Also the "american public" aren't monolithic, I think for one think he has a relitively stellar record in foriegn policy. He stayed pretty much hands off to some extent during the Arab spring, which robbed dictators from being able to say legitimatley that it was some sort of western plot, which kept the protesters seeming more legitamate. He's managed to be even handed on Iran, he's held Israel to more account (not much, but more) then presidents have for the past decade or so. We've pretty much drawn down all action in Iraq, and while not perfect, it's not in complete ruins. And as much as people hate drone attacks, to my knowledge they are able to better select targets, reducing the amount of civilian casualties. In any war, whether you support it or not, there absolutely is going to be civilian casualties, it's something people should think about before we go to war. In WWII millions of civilians of both the Axis and the Allies were killed, we didn't have the ability to target only military targets as well as we do today. Say what you want about the military industrial complex (which is pretty awful), but for the most part new stuff that's been coming out has been designed to be smaller, more targeted, and cause less in the way of casualties. The days of "who can build a bigger bomb" are gone, and I think that's a damn good thing.

newsens · 3 days

Agreed, just pointing out that we managed to do it before. We also had a lot more support, GOOD planning, and the willingness to stick through to the end at the time, which makes a huge difference. They should have realized Afgahnistan would be much, much more difficult post WWII Japan or Germany, and we occupied Japan for 7 years after a true surrender. So clearly the situation is different, and if we wanted to succeed in Afghanistan we shouldn't have tried to build a democracy when we were still fighting the war. First you knock things down, then you build them back up, it's silly to build things and knock them down at the same time. I really don't have a perfect solution honestly, I just know that pulling out immediately without a plan would be just as bad as going in without a long term plan was.

newsens · 4 days

See: Germany and Japan

newsens · 4 days

Soft power and building good will is a better, and much cheaper, way of ensuring national security and keeper regions stable. Obviously we've done a pretty poor job at it, but every time a young girl goes to an American built Afghanistan school, it's a victory for the US. Isolationism in a globalized world where we are a super power is insane and short sighted. Not to mention, who would take our place? China? Europe? America's done a lot of horrible shit but in the words of my friend from Mali "I'd much rather the US invade my country than the French, the French are horrible, the US at least pretends to care." If we have to have a superpower (which history pretty much shows that there will always be major powers in every region or the world), I'd at least like it to be us. The track record of other powers have been much, much worse. Other that the Romans, they were brutal as hell but sanitation, roads and peace isn't all that evil.

newsens · 4 days

You're right, we don't have a direct democracy... we have a Republic, where we elect leaders to represent their district's and what they believe are it's as well as the country's best interest. We don't elect monkeys conditioned to press a yes or no voting button after they read the latest polls. Obviously that's gone a bit to shit, but we've never been a direct democracy.

smile0my0friends

TROPHY CASE

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