Girlfriend ended things because I was skeptical about something she did

confusedbywhathappen · 2012-05-19T17:09:31.937964+00:00

When on the defensive, she went on the offensive. Giant blinking neon red banner even without the cheating. GTFO.

quicklookleft · 2012-05-19T16:33:57.501739+00:00

If you didn't care, you wouldn't complain.

pinklyon · 2012-05-19T15:55:11.552353+00:00

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” Souza

Do what you want to do. Pick something and do it. Look up places to go skydiving. Contact a travel agency or google "how to travel cheaply". The only way to live the life you want is...to live the life you want. Now.

ec534 · 2012-05-19T15:01:16.910149+00:00

At my hospital, everyone was great. A couple of the midwives were older, maybe 50s-60s, and they were grandmotherly lefty feminist types. I'm trying to picture crotchety old bitch midwives and I just can't do it.

SoAngry1 · 2012-05-19T07:37:24.805595+00:00

No kidding. My husband made one offhand comment about not knowing 100% that our daughter was his, and I told him if he said anything like it again I'd get a test so he couldn't say it any more. It really bothered me, even as just the idle musing it was. Our marriage is based on respect, trust, and love -- in that order. It's disrespectful to imply the possibility of your partner cheating if you don't have evidence.

ec534 · 2012-05-19T04:48:23.199602+00:00

A friend of mine had her now 15-year-old daughter when she was 18 and had a similar experience in the hospital. They didn't leave her without cleaning up but they were rude, condescending, and neglectful. I don't get people.

quicklookleft · 2012-05-19T04:17:00.540389+00:00

That right there. Being a dick. Downvoted,

jericon · 2012-05-19T04:13:25.005635+00:00

Mine did that too. Don't expect it to last, just be pleasantly surprised if it does,

MrGestore · 1 day

This was in California.

I believe I found your problem.

MrGestore · 1 day

Yeah but they still taste like corn. Give me homemade flour tortillas like I got in the Valley any day. Except not MY homemade flour tortillas; I can never get the lard amount right.

/not Mexican, but lived in the Rio Grande Valley for a few years. Gained 20 pounds from those damned tortillas.

MrGestore · 1 day

Wait a minute...brats aren't supposed to burst?

But the crusty burst-out part is the best part!

MisterGopher · 1 day

Haven't flown with her, but we just did a 2200-mile drive from Illinois to California which included 8000 feet of elevation change and four nights in hotels with our 20-month-old. She's a chill kid, but I still had lots of activities set up for her. Google "toddler busy bags" and you should find everything you could possibly want within the first page of results.

For the elevation changes, her pacifier worked well, and we encouraged her to drink from her straw sippy cup and to eat snacks. Dunno if that would do the trick for the plane though; it didn't really work with her a lot of the time because she refused the snacks and sippy.

Hotels: we generally didn't get to a hotel until she was already exhausted, and she's never been one to get into stuff so I guess I won't be much help there if yours is. But my brother-in-law and his wife brought their then 16-month-old son on a trip to Chicago and got a suite of rooms so they could kind of babyproof one and put the crib (provided by the hotel) in the other. If you're concerned about outlets, bring some covers. Encourage her to play with the drawers so that she doesn't notice the alarm clock, telephone, etc. We put a comforter from home on the floor for her to sleep on because I knew she'd cry for me if she woke up and she'd sleep fine on the floor - but DON'T PUT IT NEXT TO THE BED or between the bed and the bathroom! If you get up in the middle of the night you could step on her, especially if you're groggy.

That's what I've got -- hope at least some of it helps.

imbignate · 1 day

I also got fairly lucky with my daughter's temperament. She likes things in order; she's the kind of child who will straighten her water bottle if it falls over on her stroller tray. I'd like to take some credit for encouraging this and lavishing attention on her when she puts things away, but I think mostly it's just that she has definite opinions on how things are supposed to be. For example, she gets really freaked out by stickers, and the first time she saw me fold the jogging stroller (at around 14 months, I think), she backed away shaking her head in fear. Two minutes later I tried it again and had to pick up and comfort her, she was so unsettled.

imbignate · 1 day

My mother-in-law did almost everything at home, and my husband went right from that house to moving in with me. It's been a long and sometimes rough road, but he has risen brilliantly to the challenge and I no longer feel like I have to track all the stuff that needs doing and delegate tasks to him. You can get there too :-)

imbignate · 1 day

Did they make you keep your room (and maybe other areas of the house) completely spotless? That's not what I have in mind, and I haven't yet decided if I'm going to make them clean their rooms, because I think if that had been enforced with me I wouldn't now be so picky about clutter. But the bathrooms and kitchen will be cleaned, dinners will be cooked most nights, yard work done, messes picked up, money handled properly, laundry done by its wearer/owner (unless said person is, say, making all of the money like my husband will be).

imbignate · 2 days

My mother felt the same way, so she didn't teach me or my brother about money or make us do more than 2-3 chores. We both would have had a lot easier time from ages 18-23ish if she had.

At 20 months, my daughter already helps put things away, do laundry, and make dinner. Once she's old enough to understand money, she'll be in on the budget and grocery shopping. She'll never know the difference. And when she's 18, she'll be a fully functioning adult with an understanding of how to feed herself, keep her home clean, and handle her finances.

rudyred34 · 2 days

There's a group on Ravelry for putting test knitters and designers together called Free Pattern Testers.

SharpReel · 2 days

I wouldn't even express hope she can accept it, because that sounds too much like a request for a response. He doesn't have any room to ask anything of her, not even acknowledgement. Just say, "I treated you like shit, I was wrong, I'm sorry." Maybe even, "I won't contact you again" just to make it clear.

Nessabean · 2 days

Sounds like it's past your bedtime, too...

Nessabean · 2 days

It's an hour past my bedtime and you tripped the circuit breaker on my brain.

Gaviero · 2 days

I quit smoking in 2004, met my now-husband for whom smoking is a dealbreaker, and still had a cigarette here and there until we started trying to our conceive our daughter who is now 20 months old. I think I've had about one and a half cigarettes since she started eating solid food for the majority of her calories.

I know that, still, if I were to no longer be with my husband, it would only be a matter of time before I started smoking again. I don't even know if I could stay quit (or "quit") for my own child.

Nicotine sucks.

SharpReel · 2 days

Apologize without asking or hoping for anything. Do not include anything that might be taken as a guilt trip. Do not mention your own feelings except for your regret. Never contact her again.

Learn from this and don't commit such assholery ever again.

p_funk · 2 days

The only time I used sunscreen on my toddler is when we went to the pool last summer, because there was no shade and we went in the middle of the day for hours. She did get a very slight burn once or twice, but I rarely reapplied the stuff and we were in the water almost the whole time. It didn't seem to bother her.

I think vitamin d is important (there's decent research showing that it helps reduce the risks of certain cancers), and there's a difference between what you ingest and what you get from the sun. I know I don't get enough sun so she probably wasn't getting enough from me, and there's some evidence that sunscreens (at least the ones sold in the US) can cause the cancer they're supposed to guard against. My and my husband's ancestors survived thousands of summers at and around 40 degrees north latitude. I don't get the big thing about sunscreen, especially now that most kids get considerably less time in the sun than their parents did in childhood.

Catcherofsouls · 2 days

My 20-month-old very occasionally does this thing where she hides her face and then pops her head up with a big grin. Over and over. It's so freaking adorable, I can't stand it. And when she tells you about nearby stuff complete with pointing and her versions of my "right?" and "yeah." noises. And how she follows bigger kids around at the park with a big smile on her face but she has no idea what to do so she just kind of hangs out and beams at them. I gave birth to a very happy Socially Awkward Penguin.

Oh, and everything in the entire goddamn world is a phone, including her shoulder (because I hold the phone with mine), but she's weirded out by relatives on speakerphone. I swear we don't talk on the phone that much. But she's got the cadence of a telephone conversation down pat.

robthesteamroller · 2 days

My sister-in-law said that whichever one she's got at the moment is the one she loves most, and when she's with both of them at once she loves each of them the most at the same time.

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