Update from the guy who thought his wife was cheating on him in Michigan

houndsounds424 · 1 day

Its laughable that she would even try the trickle truth route. You found a suitcase full of lingerie, there’s no way there was only kissing or talking going on. Plus her mistakes are the sort one makes when they’ve been cheating so much that they get complacent and start to leave really obvious signs leaving around. So many trips, after 2 in the last month she was making yet another one? Not even unpacking the suitcase? There was a huge amount of cheating going on, not one guy one time or whatever she’s saying.

houndsounds424 · 1 day

If they think their own husbands don't know just yet they may still think they're in control of things though. And maybe they won't be too bright and mak a mistake one of you can catch.

houndsounds424 · 1 day

Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a family-oriented guy in I assume your 30s, you have the pick of the lot if you go back on the market. You can find much better partners than her, you’re actually in a much better position than she is if it ends.

If the post-nuptial agreement is a worse deal for her than just getting divorced would be I don’t think she’ll have any reason to cooperate.

You need to call every other husband in this group and get on them to start snooping through everything they can. Your wife has probably erased what evidence she knows of, but maybe one of her friends hasn’t and together you can al piece together the details.

ta667ta · 1 day

You made your choices. You wanted to completely and utterly cut ties with no ability to be connected to them, that means going without the son that might be yours.

justAregulard00d · 2 days

She’s protecting herself from being used, not just a short kiss.

KawaiiMistress · 3 days

You’re getting ignored. He likely found someone else. I don’t recommend trying to get a response from him or it will likely be an unpleasant one to hear.

sent463 · 3 days

Whether vasectomy’s can get reversed entirely depends on a case by case basis, a lot of people can’t get them done and they should be considered permanent if you’re going to get one. Because for a lot of people, they are permanent and even if they wanted to reverse them they can’t.

Looniee · 3 days

Are you sure its really her? Did she get on facetime to tell you not to message her, or was that a message?

atomicrose · 3 days

http://www.amazon.com/Harbinger-Eco-Fit-Exercise-Mat/dp/B003C6HGW4

Its the only mat I’ve had really so I can’t compare, but it seems good to me. Nice and thick and comfortable, lots of traction. It looks kinda expensive there but I got it in Big 5 and there were a lot of sales going on so it was closer to $40

stillrunning · 3 days

I don’t know if its running so much as just being outside, on the street, and therefore being a target for weird people. And if you run regularly you spend a lot of time out on the street. I got heckled a lot back in my walking to school days, then didn’t notice it much after I started working and driving, then I took public transportation for 4 years so I was back out on the street walking a lot and back with the heckles. I wasn’t even running, I think its just being out there at all, visible to the crazies.

BasuraAccount · 4 days

The ego boost stopped being an ego boost. You heard he was into you, but he’s not looking for a relationship so he’s not that into you. I think you may be reading a little too much into the "enjoys spending time with you and finds you attractive" part of the line. I think its just a form letter way of saying you like someone but don’t want to be committed.

Giacoppolo · 4 days

Perhaps today, but a friend you have a crush on basically translates to, we’re friends because they won’t date me so that’s all I get. And you’d drop your SO in a heartbeat if your friend changed their mind about you. In general, thats the bad news that friends/crushes are. And the fact that you have no chance with them (married/kids) doesn’t make an SO feel a lot better, that’s even more “second place”.

Or maybe she has a problem with the substance of the argument? She was criticizing your friend for a reason I assume. Then you defended her, which means you suffer the same moral deficiency (in her eyes) as your friend, and that’s what she’s mad about?

Giacoppolo · 4 days

(and old-time crush)

That’s significant. This is not just a friend.

Being them so different, my gf took the defense as an attack to her.

That’s not why she took it as an attack. She took it as one because she feels she’s not the only one in your heart and they are therefore rivals, and you are siding with the other one, making her feel like to you she’s second best.

It was stupid of her to start the fight by attacking her in the first place, but you probably shouldn’t give an SO such details of your crushes in the first place. No one wants to hear that sort of thing.

CanThisStillWorkOut · 4 days

What different type of relationship? Shopping around is shopping around. It means dating other people, and generally means being single. I think he maybe hasn’t completely gotten the nerve to straightforwardly break up with you yet, but I don’t know what other conclusion you’re supposed to draw. He wants to be single and date other people. Its extremely painful to have it end over something like that, but it is what it is. Move on and find someone who’s open to a future. THe last thing you should do is make it safe and secure for him to do so. If he gets to shop around, so do you and he risks losing you to someone more serious. You’re not his safety backup option in case he can’t find better.

braelin_mithrilae · 4 days

Why do you want to fix this? Don’t you want something better than a bf who cheats on you and thinks you’re an idiot? You’re 21, you can do a lot better than this guy, and you will. I can tell you’re probably still kinda desperate to be with him but he’ll eventually dump you and you’ll move on and have other boyfriends and hate yourself for having tried to work it out with this guy rather than moving onto those subsequent boyfriends sooner.

gotclasssoon · 4 days

Maybe she isn’t stringing you along. She’s flat out stated that she can’t see herself marrying you (someone with your beliefs, which you are.) That’s pretty straightforward. It might be time to listen. You guys might have a lot of changing of your political beliefs to do still so maybe its not a big deal right now, but its probably a waste of time to do this until you’re 25 or so when you could be finding more compatible partners.

My college boyfriend was kinda conservative and I was kinda liberal at the time, and our beliefs have since gotten so much wider apart its insane to think what if we’d ever gotten married. It would have been a monumental mistake. Like, I can’t describe how ridiculous the thought seems now.

throw1987away · 5 days

Seems like its only been a few months since you were dating this person. Finding an ideal match, no matter where you are, is just a long process and only a few of them come along total in life. I’m not saying its impossible, I think there are plenty of good partners for everyone, but there’s a whole lot of other people you end up weeding through to get to them and the total number of times you have a really great match aren’t all that many, I feel like it takes a few years in between each one.

junegloom · 5 days

Is it normal for her scars to be so tied into her identity?

Yes. It doesn’t have to be something she’d do now, but her past is a part of how she became the person she is today. Therefore she feels comfortable in her skin. I think its a healthy attitude to have. Wear your mistakes and own them, or something. I don’t think its particularly healthy to carry around shame forever over something like this the way you seem to want.

howmanychances · 5 days

It is pretty bad, but I think you’re kinda missing the obvious in an attempt to work things out. And he’s not helping because he’s just passively ignoring you and putting up with you rather than telling you what I think is really going on.

The fight last week? He WAS annoyed that you wanted to go home, and he didn’t have any respect or empathy for the fact that you wanted to go. Its fine and good to tell him that the proper response is to be ok with you wanting to go, but honestly, it isn’t something that needs teaching. He didn’t just get all huffy because he’s been taught badly. He behaved that way because he feels that way. He doesn’t really care anymore about you and you were being a buzzkill to what he wanted to do. And he won’t tell you that he doesn’t care that you want to go, because then shit will really hit the fan and he thinks its just easier to do what he’s doing. Its maybe tough to face, but you’ll have to go back and address the fact that he disrespected you and had no sympathy for you wanting to leave.

He feels that list of behaviors you want from him, is not necessary, because he doesn’t feel like doing them. Showing him a bunch of people who say it is won’t really change anything. You have to leave and if he wants you in his life he knows what it takes to keep you there. He’s not obligated to behave a certain way, he is only obligated to if he wants you to be there. You don’t need a boyfriend who doesn’t like you much and only puts up with you out of convenience. If you make the decision that being with him is worth putting up with the crappy treatment, then he indeed does not need to treat you the way you are asking him to.

Borex · 5 days

If its always on her to pick the things you do and ask you to meet up, and you never take her out, sounds like you’re the boring one. You just sit there waiting to be entertained. But just break up with her. You are not going to irreparably harm her in some way, jesus. She’ll be sad for a little while maybe and then date someone else.

madmaddi · 5 days

If you want an actual relationship date someone else. This is the end of the line as far as he goes. Do you want him to get tired of you and move on after you’ve been FWB for a while or now? Because you’ll probably feel more shitty if you go along with it and then he turns up with a girlfriend.

Pharmgeek · 7 days

You’re not the love of her life that can help her. She was just on good behavior in order to reel you in and now that you seem kinda solid the crazy train is starting, and you’re starting to see the real her. Those beginning 6 weeks weren’t the real her, everything that’s coming from this point is.

It would help her more if she did lose you, if she didn’t want that perhaps she will have more motivation in the future to stay off the drugs next time she has something great going. Hopefully she doesn’t also lose her house car and job, but that’s not related to you. You aren’t whats holding those things together.

KirkenAmy · 7 days

Don’t go to his house. Problem solved. Get back on facebook or wherever you meet guys and talk to other guys.

OrchestraSalmon · 8 days

Try asking some awkward girls out? There’s shy ones without much experience out there, perhaps they just haven’t been on your radar to ask out because they don’t seem dateable or something.

My_Private_Account · 9 days

I’m a woman, but no. Instead of just dumping the guy you’d frame yourself as a cheater when you aren’t even one, and destroy your own reputation? To get back at him? Come on.

Whats more likely, that a cheater is lying in a desperate attempt to gain some plausible deniability? Or that an innocent person actually thought it was a good idea to destroy their own reputation, with no real benefit for them. Its not revenge against him, its validation for him and it hurts only you. That’s why no one would believe it was a sting, if on the off chance this was your plan. In the order of stupid explanations its up there with the guy who claimed the naked girl in the bathroom was just adjusting her bra.

That’s what everyone would think about you if you went to some elaborate effort to look like you cheated. They’d think its more likely you actually cheated and are trying to say its all fake. You can get rid of the guy at no consequence to yourself, or you can get rid of him and also seem like a cheater.

junegloom

TROPHY CASE

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