The "normal" way for Disabled to find a romantic partner.

Cristal1337 · 2012-05-19T22:03:03.510711+00:00

And for what it's worth, /r/deaf is the most active community I could find, and you could post this there.

throwaway_sxr · 2012-05-19T22:01:13.193019+00:00

Why don't you try explaining how their 'help' actually makes you feel? Ask them to empathize with how much anxiety their approach is causing you (instead of merely telling them to stop).

If they won't or cannot empathize, then simply start ignoring them.

Good luck finding a job-- my token advice for your job hunt is to look in areas that are typically hurting for doctors (even though you may not want to live there long term), so you can start your career and eventually transfer to another hospital in the area you want to live.

Cristal1337 · 2012-05-19T21:56:29.415381+00:00

I'm really sorry to direct you elsewhere because you wrote a well thought out and informative post, but we only allow requests for relationship advice here.

Post requests for relationship advice and updates to previous posts only. Do not post rants, poll the community for responses, or offer unsolicited advice. If your post does not comply, it may be removed.

I searched reddit to find thriving disabled redditor communities to direct you to, and was shocked there there is nothing over 500 readers! Most don't even have 50 readers, and aren't very active.

I think you should create and/or help grow an existing disabled-redditor subreddit, and post this advice as the first post. I'm afraid I don't have very good advice for how to grow a subreddit, but you can ask /r/AskReddit. You can also post this piece of advice in /r/self or /r/rant .

To grow a subreddit, you pretty much just need 1 post that reaches the front page, advertising your disabled-redditor subreddit and you'll get a lot of subscribers. That and grass roots advertising and name dropping, or having one of your posts linked to in /r/bestof. Good luck!

cherrydust27 · 2012-05-19T21:26:02.430753+00:00

Stop looking to that shitty woman for approval! The second you stop, her non-approval of you will stop mattering.

I know that is easier said that done but it is the only sure-fire way to fix this. I once dated someone from a very Christian family, and his mother was aghast because I was a) not Caucasian and b) not religious. She treated me SO rudely. It really bothered me for a while, and then one day, I was like "she is a very stupid woman, why do I have any expectation of her liking me or approving of me? I don't. I don't even like her. She doesn't matter, and I don't need to look to her for acceptance."

Every day after that I felt so much better. She actually noticed how little I gave a shit and became nicer to me. I remember once she was playing with my hair... and I was like holy fuck it's touching me.

houndsounds424 · 2012-05-19T00:14:13.078793+00:00

There is no going back to a happy marriage after your wife's organized field trips of fucking. If you reconcile and remain with her, you are making an irrevocable mistake. Your wife isn't a prize; she's the booby prize. She's only meant for a sucker.

You can and will do better. She WILL cheat on you again after her shame and contriteness dissipates over time. To hell with her and all the cheating bitches she schemed with. Do not remain in this marriage.

Kramol · 2012-05-19T00:07:53.883133+00:00

All except Jon Snow. What the fuck happened there.

BeaniestBeanBurrito · 1 day

I replayed it in 2005. It's still an awesome story... Tidus' voice acting is super awful (and I can't stop hearing Wakka as Bender from Futurama) but other than that it was a good adaptation.

Most people like 3 and 7 the best. For me it will always be 10.

Krassen · 1 day

It looks like England with Ireland tacked onto the end:

http://www.itraveluk.co.uk/maps/england/england-county-map.gif

http://gameofthrones.net/images/Westeros_Maps/map_of_westeros.jpg

creamcheesebrownie · 1 day

Unfortunately HBO Jon is a far cry from book Jon. They turned him into a sweet, dumb jock.

rabbit_trousers · 1 day

You made a bad error in judgment and feel guilty. Sadly this will happen many, many more times in your life (though hopefully never again with cheating).

You're 16 and that means you're still learning about yourself. You've learned that you don't make good decisions when you are drunk, so in the future you need monitor your alcohol intake so that you don't get to the point that you make bad choices.

You also feel guilt for hurting your girlfriend. That will last for a long time, as will the betrayal that she feels. I commend you both for trying to work through this, but neither of you should feel bad if you decide it's just too hard to keep going. It may not ultimately be the best decision for you both to stay together, and that is OK too. She doesn't deserve to date a guy she doesn't trust, nor do you deserve to date someone who can't move past what you did. But as long as you both keep trying, I wish you luck.

Be honest with yourself, and then be honest to her. Are you happy with her? Are you satisfied? Do you want to see what else is out there? Was this just an impulsive bad decision enabled by alcohol? Really think of why you did it, and then tell her, because she's wondering the same things. Depending on the cause, it will either be fixable (don't drink so much/work on whatever is lacking in your relationship) or unfixable (you're just not in a place where you can be committed to your girlfriend).

Chin up. This is not the end of the world. It is a painful learning experience, but learn what you need to from it and don't beat yourself up. You're not an evil person, but you do need to figure out how to conduct yourself better.

redheadedwhovian · 1 day

It is a really, really bad idea to get married in two months when you have a major personality incompatibility like this.

People cannot easily force themselves to be talkative if it is not in their nature. This is who he is... if you can't accept it or he cannot relate to you, and it's leading to persistent fights, then it is a major incompatibility.

He isn't going to change, so you definitely need to figure out a better approach than fighting with him. If he's picking fights with you, he needs to identify when things are about to lead to an argument and stop himself.

Ultimately, you both have to accept each other as you are, or don't get married.

cookiesgirl12 · 2 days

Awesome!

cookiesgirl12 · 2 days

We discourage /r/self or /r/askreddit type questions that poll the community for responses (please read the community guidelines in the sidebar).

Could you please add some details about yourself and your toughest break-ups; what specifically triggers your insecurity? What specific problems are you having with your present relationship attempts? The more details you can edit into your original post, the better. Thanks.

Roughnecknine0 · 2 days

/r/stopsmoking

There's another quit smoking community but I cannot remember its name.

She needs to develop habits that make smoking really difficult, like running a couch to 5k program with you, or going to the gym often, or yoga etc. Also popping some gum or candy when a craving hits may help.

Most of all she needs to stay away from smokers as much as humanly possible.

getfarkingreal · 2 days

Simple solutions:

Put them on a filter friend list, and post new pictures and updates to everyone but them
Block them from being able to comment or look at certain content
Stop caring. These are facebook comments. They don't matter. There is literally 0 ability to affect your reality if you just stop caring.

RayadoEstrecho · 2 days

HBO's producers got to him in season 2, but let us never forget!

RayadoEstrecho · 2 days

No. At the end of ADwD, Dany is Book Spoiler That image of her savagery is not by accident. She's going to beat the shit out of her enemies in TWoW.

BeaniestBeanBurrito · 2 days

That is also a fair point. I was just trying to think of good games with the pause and think RPG feel.

RayadoEstrecho · 2 days

Derp face? Or lips so perfect that they reject one another?

houndsounds424 · 2 days

I'm curious: why don't you just have honest polyamorous relationships? Have you ever been to /r/polyamory? There are lots of men and women who practice ethical non-monogamy. Not just old ugly hippies either. One of the cutest girls I knew in college was poly and knew a bunch of attractive poly men and women.

sadz79 · 2 days

Hello! The guidelines are written on the right in the side-bar:

Post requests for relationship advice and updates to previous posts only. Do not post rants, poll the community for responses, or offer unsolicited advice. If your post does not comply, it may be removed.

thbt101 · 2 days

This is a fine /r/askreddit or /r/self question, but not acceptable for /r/relationship_advice.

Please review the community guidelines:

Post requests for relationship advice and updates to previous posts only. Do not post rants, poll the community for responses, or offer unsolicited advice. If your post does not comply, it may be removed.

over-thinker · 2 days

hah are we somehow having an argument on the internet? that was not my intention, nor to insult you. just a friendly discussion about a great book series. good day to you.

over-thinker · 2 days

While I definitely agree with the Rome/Valyria vibe observation, I don't agree with this:

Roman Italy was a really advanced peninsula that was lost to a cataclysm (the fall of Western Rome).

The fall of Western Rome was a drawn out process, and cannot accurately be called a cataclysm. The reason I liken Valyria to Atlantis is that a huge disaster (meteor/volcano/whatever) wiped out a highly advanced civilization in a fast and brutal blow. That's different from an Empire imploding from within.

over-thinker · 2 days

Sure does.

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