EDIT: Thank you all for your comments. I am not trying to ignore anyone with my lack of replies-- I am just thinking about what has been said.
TL;DR: I am a 24-year-old woman so ugly I get ignored by a lot of people, especially men. I am clean, average weight, and I try to be nice. Is there a way I can get people to interact with me?
Basically I think I may be too ugly to easily make friends, nevermind have sex with someone. There's nothing seriously wrong, i.e. I never split my face open, don't have bad acne, don't have any physical deformities. But I look in the mirror and my face is just so plain and different from everyone else's. I was teased for being ugly since high school and I don't know anyone else who was teased just based on what they looked like. I thought maybe it was just these few people in high school, but then it happened in college too. I was at a sophomore dormitory seminar once on body image (lol) and the RA talking at the front of the group said something like, "Not everyone is born a model.." and the girl sitting next to me nudged her friend and pointed at me, then they both laughed. I guess they forgot I have peripheral vision.
In high school I was fat as well, which obviously didn't help. Sometimes people mistook me for a guy back then. In college I got my weight under control and I exercised all the time, because I thought maybe my ugliness would be less troublesome if I was thinner than most girls. Currently I'm 24 years old, 5'7" and about 140lbs. I was wrong about the thinness thing. It didn't help. In fact probably the worst part was that my shoulders (which are kind of broad to begin with) got a little more muscular, and my boobs shrunk..though I don't have flat/nonexistent boobs either. I have always kept myself clean and I wear my hair long in a "feminine" cut. I try to dress neatly and not in anything weird. Sometimes I wear fingernail polish because I hope someone notices that I'm putting out the effort.
In high school I had plenty of friends. In fact I'd go so far as to say I was the leader in my little pack of buddies. I got along well even with people who were not my friends, but the people who teased me were always good-looking boys. I had a close male friend, but I can't say he was really my boyfriend because we never got to kissing or dates more exciting than sitting next to each other at a movie. He was really sweet but I don't think either one of us understood what to do.
But the second I left for the weekend freshmen orientation I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't find someone who wanted to be my roommate. I couldn't find anyone who wanted to hang out with me. Most of the time I felt like I was invisible, but when I did speak to people they would give me a strange look. I got paired up with another fat girl eventually for my freshman roommate and I hoped we could get along...but she barely talked to me. The entire semester I was unable to get anyone to talk with me for any length of time, and no one approached me about anything. This was a small school, about 1500 undergrads. My roommate left school over winter break-- she had never told me or the RA. I got a couple of friends in my sophomore year, but one of them dropped out and then I dropped out at the end of my junior year.
I went back to college at a larger school the following semester. I finally found someone who actually sought me out in one class and wanted to talk with me, but unfortunately I found her in the last semester of my senior year. There was also a boy who talked to me and seemed to really enjoy walking around campus with me, but I think it was only because we both shared a common interest that's fairly rare among college students (plays by Christopher Marlowe).
So I finished my undergrad degree and lost touch with those two immediately afterward. Now I am a grad student and I'm doing well enough in that. I participate in a few extracurricular activities hoping to meet new people. But at best I have a few acquaintances from my work and my research. No one has ever invited me to a party. Last semester a couple people actually invited me to get Chinese food after a day at the lab, but when we got there (driving in separate cars) they suddenly said they weren't hungry and left. I know that it's really pathetic to look at a single situation like that, but it was literally the first social encounter I'd had in years.
I can't help but think my appearance is the causal factor here. I have always tried to be cordial to people, and people always laugh at my jokes, etc etc (well sometimes it may only be a supportive laugh). I try not to look too desperate, i.e. I don't stare or talk too much. I don't have problems being among large groups of people, or speaking to them (I would have a lot of trouble with grad school if that was true!). My grades are fine, I still exercise so I feel physically okay. I don't think my few acquaintances are aware I have no friends.
But I think the way I look just frightens people away, or that I've somehow lost the ability to connect. Men especially don't pay any attention to me, or only do so to make fun of me. I've gotten more than a few "Hey John there's your girlfriend!"-type insults when walking across campus. I can't afford plastic surgery and I'm not sure I would want to do it anyway...so if anyone has tips for what I can do to make people look past my appearance it would be appreciated.
If no one can think of anything I haven't thought of already that's okay too. It does feel nice just to type this out...which is probably why it's so long.
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